Create Massive Momentum in Your Life: Anthony Cheam Interviews Al McBride
This very special episode all about creating massive momentum, getting the ball rolling, doubling down on your expansion and growth and becoming the greatest version of yourself.
I was fortunate enough to be interviewed by an old friend of mine Anthony Cheam last year. As is obvious from the first moment, few rival Anthony for sheer energy and passion for what he does.
Apologies for the quality of my audio, my microphone was on the blink at the time, hope all the gems in the conversation come through nonetheless.
The Power Purpose & Passion podcast with Anthony Cheam is all about taking your life to the next level. Anthony covers every topic between energy, health & fitness to productivity, fulfilment, and happiness.
If you’re looking to become your greatest version then Anthony is here to guide you to the next level. To your continued evolution, live it up with POWER, PURPOSE & PASSION!
- Purpose is the engine, the energy
- Don’t jump to tactics too soon, get the fundamentals first
- Has the story changed?
- Be careful of your labels
- Pennebaker writing exercise
- Credit where credit is due
- Get emotionally attuned to the outcome
- From external motivation to intrinsic inspiration
- Dopamine vs Serotonin, Challenge vs Victory
- How much do you bet? Move from being right to being accurate
- The Roger Federer approach
- Better questions to get unstuck
- From Dr Spock to Homer Simpson
- Treat yourself like a good friend
Anthony Cheam 0:00
Anthony Cheam 0:00
healers gamers and claimers, ladies and gentlemen from around the globe from around the universe from around the community. Welcome to the power purpose and passion Podcast. I am your host Anthony cheim, speaker, life coach, author, musician, singer, songwriter, friend, podcast host.
Anthony Cheam 0:15
Friend to you want to give you the best of what I’ve learned, earned in return in this great self help world in the past 20 years of reading books, going to seminars, listen to podcasts, audios, whatever it took to become the best version of myself, I want to teach it to you.
Anthony Cheam 0:28
So you can be the best possible version consistently upgrading advancing your life on a consistent basis, because you can live the most powerful, meaningful, purposeful, passionate life as humanly possible. So you can basically share your gifts, your talents, everything you’ve got and given on this planet, because that’s the ultimate fulfillment.
Anthony Cheam 0:44
That’s the ultimate success is not just what you achieve, but what you share what you give, and giving up your heart giving up your soul giving up your spirit massively. So thank you for joining us. It’s an absolute honor and privilege to be on the show with you and be able to serve you in this great technological savvy world upgraded and advanced I am I’m ready to give you the best of what I’ve learned. All right. So it’s been a whole entire summer.
Anthony Cheam 1:06
And we haven’t been consistent with the podcast, you know, I decided to take the summer Off Plan and structure our time so that we can kind of plan for September, after Labor Day weekend. And we have got a great show for you today. And the coming weeks, we’ve planned a lot of great things upgraded in our podcast, the the content, the ways in which we we give you the content, and we share the content.
Anthony Cheam 1:29
So I’m excited for that. And for you that are joining us on on, you know iTunes or YouTube or Facebook alive, wherever you are, thank you for joining us. And I can’t say enough about what’s up what a blessing it is to be on the show with you. And today we’ve got a great show. And the topic today is how to create massive momentum in your life.
Anthony Cheam 1:48
Because man, if you’re stuck, if you are in the middle of a funk, or you’ve just lost your job, or you just you’re moving from one stage of life to another you’re you’re in one relationship and it’s ended and you’re wanting to start a new chapter, this is the show that you want to basically listen to on a consistent basis because as Tony Robbins says repetition is the mother of all skill, you’ve got to keep on repeating it over and over listening to it, reading it, you know, contemplating on it, whatever it takes to take your life to the next level.
Anthony Cheam 2:18
This particular show is about creating massive momentum in your life. And that’s what it’s all about creating massive momentum. You know, it’s like that snowball going down a mountain. If you start with a little little snowball, and add starts to move and move and move, it becomes so big, and it moves so fast, it almost becomes unstoppable. So we want to help you do that.
Anthony Cheam 2:36
We want to help you create an unstoppable momentum in your life, whether it be career based family life, relationship, health, spiritual, whatever it might be. These principles and practices that we’re going to cover today are going to be so much a value and benefit to your life.
Anthony Cheam 2:48
So thank you again. And today I’ve got a special guest first time ever on this podcast other than just cam and myself on this podcast. I’ve got a special guest that’s going to chime in and give us his his greatest gifts and his wisdom and share about what it takes to create massive momentum in your life.
Anthony Cheam 3:03
It’s a friend of mine out Alistair McBride from Ireland, he and this let me read you some of his credentials and what he’s all about and what he’s doing right now in his current life in his in his career in his personal life, and he’s doing amazing. So let me just read you a few things about him. He is a coach facilitator and a trainer and has started numerous small businesses.
Anthony Cheam 3:22
He’s a regular guest lecturer in cognitive behavioral coaching in the masters and coaching program at University College Cork in Ireland. He’s also facilitated and post grad courses in entrepreneurship, and innovation in University College Dublin. He’s a coach to executives and to business owners across an array of industries including software law, aviation, telecoms, corporate finance, to name a few.
Anthony Cheam 3:45
He believes clarity in thought leads to clarity and communication. Over the past few years, he’s been giving his clients the psychological edge in negotiation and has a brand new program out called the Goliath negotiation method. He’s an old friend, I met him in a coaching program called strategic intervention.
Anthony Cheam 4:04
He’s a friend I’ve known for about five years now. And we were on consistent sort of mentorship calls mastermind calls and I learned a lot from him not just as a friend but as a coach and as a colleague. So thank you for joining us there Alistair. How you doing my friend? What’s
Al McBride 4:17
going on? Doing great from hearing from you, sir. That was a hell of an introduction. You’re very bowled over by the energy over here.
Anthony Cheam 4:29
Oh, that’s great, man. Cuz that’s what it’s all about the energy right bringing the energy just fantastic. Yeah, awesome. So what’s going on? And what can you tell us about you know how to create massive momentum in your life?
Al McBride 4:46
Well, I mean, the the very first thing it’s something we talked about many times. It’s so important. You haven’t been the name of the podcast is purpose. purposes, everything. I’m afraid you know, once you’re clear on the purpose.
Al McBride 4:59
That’s the Energy. That’s the energy behind everything else. Yeah. It’s like, when people talk about change when people talk about getting momentum when people talk about new habits, or getting rid of old habits, all that sort of stuff, your people often get into the tactical way too soon. Hmm.
Al McBride 5:18
They go right into the tactical thing. And that’s great. But that doesn’t work unless you have the fundamentals. sound from the beginning. Great. Awesome. I have to actually bring you in on this one. Yeah. Just this may sound like a testimonial. I suppose it is absolutely relevant.
Al McBride 5:38
When when you invited me on here, I was thinking back on this. I was thinking actually, you helping me back in the day, four or five years ago. You helped me get clear mindset purpose, all that stuff first. I helped me lose 10 kilograms 22 kilos in about four to six weeks. Amazing. But here’s the thing. Number one, it was that easy, but it made me number two. I kept it off since I Love it.
Al McBride 6:09
Love it though. Like I beat I remember about a year two years in, I realize it’s been two years. So I beaten the stats like within the I think it’s 18 months. What is it 97% put the weight back on and more. And the reason I put the weight back on and more I’m using this just as an example is that the story hadn’t shifted. Very good. So people go on about oh, you know, it takes 28 days to change a habit or other people say it takes three months to change a habit and all this other stuff. Yeah. Okay.
Al McBride 6:41
It’s there’s research and all that. And that’s probably somewhat accurate. But what’s more so important is has the story changed? How you explained it to yourself to the world to everyone else has not actually shifted? What you did with me. But we were talking about how this is a thing. You didn’t go into tactics you didn’t go into like, Oh, this is how far you’re meant to Roma. This is the way your method list or any of this stuff. That’s all the tactical stuff is important. Yeah. But it’s the next stage. Yes. fed with all the mindset, remember? Yeah, I
Anthony Cheam 7:14
totally remember that. Dude, I totally
Al McBride 7:16
remember that. Like, because I knew the stuff you were doing with me from coaching retirees. That was cool. It was actually working. Because forever I label myself, be careful. The labels. Labels are not a gym guy. Not really a gym guy, you know? Yeah. And the next thing I knew just from talking to you, like a week later, I was suddenly in the gym three times three days.
Al McBride 7:43
We look at the mirror go, holy crap, I might be a gym guy. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, identity, the story had changed. A lot. The story has shifted, then a huge amount of things fall in alignment behind that. And that’s the real power. Yeah, that’s why you see people who, when you’re using willpower as the main driver, you’re you’re, you’re in a very fragile state of change.
Al McBride 8:11
Yeah, willpower should be used as a booster, always force, change the purpose behind it, and then see where that’s how you’re explaining it, you have to change that. That’s where a lot of change comes in. So when we’re talking about creating massive momentum, clear on the purpose, yes, no, the why energy.
Al McBride 8:32
That’s what keeps you going in on when things get tough. boss said the story has to then fall in with that purpose going deep on that. That’s how you create the momentum more. So that’s how you keep that momentum.
Al McBride 8:49
Because there’s nothing more demoralizing than getting a bit of momentum and then falling away. Yeah, back to square one. Just get into this cycle of being. It’s like the old phrase. What is it? cigarettes are easy to give up? I give them up all the time.
Al McBride 9:09
Very good. Excellent. That kind of thing, isn’t it? Do this the first thing I’d say is know your purpose. Know your point and then dig into the story. Yummy. That does some great stuff. The panabaker exercises? We’re Yes. So the writing exercise. Yes. It’s something I use with clients a lot is like what is the story actually say?
Al McBride 9:35
But the next thing to dive into is talking about credit. Yeah. Because you’re a great man for the motivation and going yeah, flipside of that which is equally valuable is actually giving yourself credit.
Al McBride 9:50
Do Yes, very good. Lots of people are making good progress. People are doing things that are good steps along the way. They’re certainly Get into good habits. But unless those actions as being part of that momentum, then you risk falling into only rewarding yourself when a big result happens, and you need to tear it down into milestones.
Al McBride 10:14
But into just remember this actually go back to our original story, where we’re doing the gym thing, you know, I was a few months in, and it was going, right. And I was getting really frustrated one day because like, my numbers were good. They’ve gone to crap, you know? Yeah. And I was wrong. Me and I was getting a little annoyed. And one other guy in the gym, she said, not to you, okay? frustrated.
Al McBride 10:39
But numbers are down, everything’s bad. And he said, Dude, you’re here. Yes, for the wake up call. That’s exactly what I’d say to my friends to my clients. give yourself credit. It’s not about giving yourself an easy ride. It’s about noticing good work done and saying, you know what, that’s actually pretty good. You know?
Al McBride 11:03
It’s like, you know, okay, he’s coming first. And I would like Woody Allen said that half the battle in parts of success is turning up. Yes, he has to turn up. If it’s confusing the gym analogy, because maybe an easier analogy.
Anthony Cheam 11:17
Yeah. What I also like about what you’re saying there, just to kind of chime in is is the fact that we need multiple ways to measure our success, not just the scale, we need to measure our emotional state, how we’re feeling our energy, our self esteem, our posture, our focus, those are multiple ways.
Anthony Cheam 11:36
So as you said, if our weights not down, we have other measuring sticks to say, I’m also but I’m up here, I’m up here, I’m up there, and my spiritual is better, my relationships are better. So we don’t just need one measurement. So I just wanted to add that too. So I absolutely agree with that. Absolutely. I
Al McBride 11:51
mean, that’s the key thing is, is having whole scales of being able to win. Hmm. So you know, the classic one, again, going back to the the exercise stuff, just because a lot of things fall as easier analogies and easier examples will excellent.
Al McBride 12:07
But, you know, maybe you’re you said I need to go to the gym three times a week for 5 times or more points, whatever it is. But what if you’re stuck doing that due to work or due to being ill or due to you being ill?
Al McBride 12:21
Or whatever that might be is that most people that fall into that trap of Oh, I have to do exactly what I said, therefore, I fetch Hmm. And so they fall off the bandwagon to fall off on progress that they need, and go to a room. That’s the same as someone who’s say they’re trying to get chocolate or something. And then they say all is lost. Yes, yes. Not. Yes. You know, your, your piece of chocolate away the other side of, you know, of quitting it. So give yourself a break.
Anthony Cheam 12:57
Yes. And Amen. Amen.
Al McBride 13:01
Amen. Gym, you can’t make the gym. What else can you do? Yeah. Oh, I have a kettlebell here. Yeah. Do a kettlebell routine. Super. Yes. What else can you do? Oh, the YouTube, yoga training, whatever. Yeah. What else can you do? Even if it’s a few squats and push ups? Again, that’s the exercise equivalent. That is that one. So whether you’re winning 10 out of 10? six out of 10? Five of the 10 to attend two to 10 is better than zero out of 10?
Anthony Cheam 13:29
Al McBride 13:31
Yes, yes. Yes. On the road to winning? Yes. On the road to continuing that momentum. That might mean eight or 10 of the 10 that you’re looking for that you know, that you got to have a huge High Five to do that stuff. Yeah. Hey, you’re still moving in the right direction. You’re still you’re still continuing the story, that you’re moving forward. Sometimes it’s in a big league. Sometimes it’s a small step. Yes. And it’s not real difference between, you know, the massive gains and the 1% rule. You know, the Yes. Is the James clear is on top of the 1%. Yes, yeah. That’s compound interest. Yes.
Anthony Cheam 14:15
He got his
Al McBride 14:17
remarkable thing. Yeah, you
Anthony Cheam 14:19
got it. Yes. Excellent, man. Excellent. Yeah. So so you you talked you talked about purpose you talk about when it comes to purpose, change the story and and we’ve had this conversation before about the three S’s about state strategy and story and those stories man about why things aren’t working.
Anthony Cheam 14:36
I often say to people, you might have gotten a car accident, and it may or may have made you late for your work. But it’s a story and that may be a fact but it’s the story behind the facts that keeps you from moving forward. Story story. Here’s my I’m going to inject my my blood, my veins, what’s the story but why my lifestyle?
Anthony Cheam 14:53
It might be an absolute fact that you were diagnosed with cancer, but it’s the story behind the facts that your case that’s keeping you from maintain that positive outlook, reframing your life and taking positive action and using cancer not allowing cancer to use you.
Anthony Cheam 15:07
So story is huge. And you talked to also about about setting yourself up to win. A one of the things I also talked about is this is you know, one of the one of the my favorite questions I ask clients, and I’m sure you can kind of add to this is, what would it look like to add that if to to create that that sort of that catapult or that launching pad to create that momentum?
Anthony Cheam 15:27
I often say to people look, what would it look like? How specifically would it look like? If you achieve the ultimate goal you’re after? What would that look like? Describe it for me? What would what would change what are 10 things in your life that would change for the positive.
Anthony Cheam 15:41
If, in fact, you achieve this ultimate goal, right, and they start to try more my I feel better myself, I would, you know. I would be able to have more confidence, do all these great things.
Anthony Cheam 15:51
I’d be able to go on that hike, I’d be able just using health as an example, I’d be able to have the confidence to talk to the, you know, the, the girl that I’ve always wanted to talk to the boy I want to always want to talk to.
Anthony Cheam 16:00
I would i would have the energy and vitality to to to double or triple my income at my business or whatever it might be, and then again, excited and attuned and associated to the outcome in the purpose itself from achieving that goal. What do you have to say about that?
Al McBride 16:14
Yes. Sure, no? It is. It is absolutely. When you actually tapped into something else there as well, which was, and it’s something you’ve mentioned on your previous podcast, which is that idea of the challenge, you know, being able to be get that energy in, and it’s one of those ideas that it’s extremely important.
Al McBride 16:37
Some people call it motivation, but I think inspiration is probably better, but it’s intrinsic motivations, basically, you know, motivation from inside? Yes, some internal sources rather than external rewards. So yeah, the money is great. Yeah, you know, looking good in the mirror is great.
Al McBride 16:54
But what is it internally? That’s actually motivated? Yes. And that’s the key thing. It’s the difference between internal motivation, which is intrinsic motivation, we’re talking about our inspiration, versus ideas of external stuff, which is the carrot on the stick?
Al McBride 17:08
Yes. In business terms, is that idea of how do we motivate our workers? You know, do we threaten them by hitting them? Or do we actually dangle something that they’re meant to work toward? Whereas, you know, much more modern modern ideas are all about trying to get it from within?
Anthony Cheam 17:26
Al McBride 17:26
yes. It’s far more powerful. last longer. Yes. Yeah. But the other parallel with that is, is that when, when we’re doing the internal stuff, when we’re challenged, as you said, when we’re actually feeling the challenge finger energy in there, that’s firing the dopamine, which you know, about these days.
Al McBride 17:45
And one of the problems that I heard you mentioned in a previous podcast is when you feel like you’ve actually reached the goal. Hmm. And that’s where huge momentum often does. Yeah. And that’s because the dopamine drops and the serotonin kicks in with just like the chillout.
Al McBride 18:01
Yes.Chillout buzz of a neuro chemical. But the way we can get through that is by continually having that next buy there kind of it’s an ongoing rather than a destination goal. It’s a process go. Amen. To be doing being goal rather than just getting to a destination. Got it. You got it. That’s kind of the key thing. But what is the real purpose once intrinsic, that’s far less likely to happen? Yes, yes.
Anthony Cheam 18:27
You know, it’s like what Tony said, Tony Robbins says he says, when we fail, we tend to ponder when we succeed, we tend to party and and that we fall into that trap, right? That when we’re failing, Oh, my gosh, things aren’t working. What do you have to say about that? When people fail?
Anthony Cheam 18:41
And they’re feeling that frustration or that adversity they face the internal adversity of the external adversity from an external opponent or an internal opponent? What is your What is your advice to someone that got that inevitably it happens to us all we hit a brick wall. We’re like, how did we get around this? I might as well just go back to the starting line where I was comfortable. What do you have
Al McBride 18:59
to say about that? Yeah. I mean, the first thing that it responds is what’s the question you’re asking yourself? So when you’re in that situation, are you going oh, I failed. I might as well go home. Are you or go by as you say back to whatever is comfortable? Yeah.
Al McBride 19:18
Or are you saying okay, what have I learned? I don’t mean that in a trite way. I mean, like, what am I gained? It’s kind of like going to the Olympics and getting the silver medal and go failed. Yeah, you can look at it like a failure.
Al McBride 19:33
Or you know, you can look at it like you’ve got a silver medal in the Olympics what the hell people yeah so when you see it from an external way from an objective when you of course you’ve done really well you got a silver medal What the Hell yeah. You still go you when you learn, you know?
Al McBride 19:48
Yes, when you when you should still be going well hold on. And you notice this it again in sports reason sports analogy, but same in business, the better sports coaches or managers, I The better managers leaders go, okay, we won on this one. But what were we lucky?
Al McBride 20:07
Yes, where to where to go where where we do to win due to our skill due to our strategy to the whatnot. And that’s where they’re always bouncing up. It’s a thing called the I think it’s the resulting fallacy. It results in trap. Yes, yes, that idea that, you know, you go, Oh, we won.
Al McBride 20:22
Therefore, we did everything right versus we lost therefore, we did everything wrong, which is total nonsense. And there’s a great book by Annie Dukes, called thinking in bets. One of the great ideas and is getting out of that ego state of Oh, I won, I lost, I’m great. I’m rubbish. And it’s more of an accuracy.
Al McBride 20:46
Yes. It’s putting skin in the game and saying, What if I have to? Oh, I’m so certain about bla bla bla bla bla, whether it’s political opinion, it’s a business idea. It’s whatever. How much would you bet?
Al McBride 20:58
Yes, yes. And then you sort of have to go all. Because what it makes you do is search out counter evidence to your initial opinion to make sure you’re fairly accurate. So that’s accuracy you’re looking for rather than being right or being wrong. Fantastic.
Al McBride 21:13
That’s kind of one of those ways where you can bounce off like, okay, I didn’t win this one. But what have I learned? What can I use for actual value? And this is the key thing, because it’s a great idea. It’s, there’s a phenomenal book I read recently, that could be very valuable to your listeners called Range by David Epstein.
Al McBride 21:32
Okay. It’s all about that idea that we all think in terms of, you know, Tiger Woods that you have to be going, you know, super deep, but this is the one thing and you’re doing it since you’re a toddler and works in some domains.
Al McBride 21:47
Yeah, chess golf, things were very limited despite pattern recognition and doing the same few things over and over again. But in every other human domain. Yeah. The Roger Federer model works. Federer was one of the best tennis players that ever lived. He didn’t even go into tennis fully until he was like 17.
Al McBride 22:07
He played six sports. He played soccer for Switzerland, you know, as a very competent a lot of sport. So then he went in, but that’s what made him such a dynamic player. He also goes wise didn’t even have winning Wimbledon as his goal. His goal was to once play once in Wimbledon. As he improved the goals improved along with it.
Anthony Cheam 22:36
Got it? Exactly. Right. Yeah.
Al McBride 22:39
This is the last thing and last but it’s one of those key things is that purpose is absolutely key purposes t but it’s actually sweet. What is one of the greatest motivators is play
Anthony Cheam 22:54
Al McBride 22:55
yes, boy, the minute to minute of what you’re doing. Yes, even in terms of and that’s like a superpower. Because if you have the two if you have the purpose going in the background, oh man, on the playing, going minute to minute I stoppable compounds 100%
Anthony Cheam 23:13
I remember hearing John C Maxwell talked about, you know, the two steps I tell this, I remember this because I use it on my clients. I use it on this podcast all the time. So if you want to know what the two steps of success are, is, to find something you love to do that you gladly do it for free.
Anthony Cheam 23:27
Just do it because you just love it. Because you just love it. You just it just it just like stirs your soul. And then second step get so good at that skill, people will gladly pay you for it. Right. And the reality is, is as you start to as you add purpose to the mix, and love and clarity, and often a good strategy, let me tell you, it’s unstoppable.
Anthony Cheam 23:48
In fact, you know, when you’re losing you, you learn more from your losses than you do your wins. Right. And, and I remember I remember even you know, using sports, again, is a guy named George St. Pierre. He’s an MMA fighter, one of the greatest, you know, mixed martial arts in the world.
Anthony Cheam 24:02
I remember seeing him what I learned from him so much he was so cerebral and his stress strategic approach to all the fights he fought in all the opponents, study the weaknesses, all these things, but Well, I remember him winning a fight and five rounds, he beat the sky handily destroyed him. But he didn’t tap him out. He didn’t make him Submit. And when they went back, the cameras went back to the locker room.
Anthony Cheam 24:25
What was he doing? He was rolling around with his coach. And he was asking coach, what did I do wrong? Even the way he won, he was focusing on how to improve even though he’s the best, best best in the world, when the greatest of all time, he’s still practicing, because I think he can. Number one, he loves it.
Anthony Cheam 24:41
Number two, he has a great purpose for it. And he has a tremendous drive to become the best in the world. He’s got a great strategy. Of course, he’s using obviously, the tools of when he loses, he learns from it and he did lose that one fight and the end up beating the guy again.
Anthony Cheam 24:55
He learned from that loss. And when he’s winning, he’s still winning. So he set up the game so he’s winning. He’s doing multiple ways to measure success. When he’s losing, he’s winning. And he’s winning, he’s even winning even more.
Anthony Cheam 25:05
And he set up the game that way. And I think I think that’s a great sort of sort of matrix to follow in terms of when things get tough, you kind of have to back up and kind of re examine where you are. Yeah, absolutely
Al McBride 25:17
do. And that’s exactly the point that we were touching on earlier, which is, you know, setting it up. So you’ve nine ways to win and only one way to lose, or 99 ways to win, and only one way to do and that is it’s getting clear on where’s the only way I lose here.
Al McBride 25:32
And usually that’s down to something like, you know, breaking your own values or something along those lines, you know, sure. you’re focused on, you’re either making leaps ahead or small steps ahead.
Anthony Cheam 25:45
Excellent. Excellent. That’s, that’s awesome, man. So what’s what’s one, one thing that you tell a client, like it for the people, my listeners out there? And let’s say client comes to you and says, Hey, man, I’m just struggling with I don’t know where I am. What’s one strategy that you would tell them?
Anthony Cheam 26:02
This person, this business leader, this coach, whoever you’re working with? What’s one thing that you tell them one question that you ask them one strategy, one principle you follow in helping them break through some of their limitations?
Al McBride 26:16
Well, the first Well, if they’re in if they’re already not, if they’re already stuck. And as I said, you go straight to the questions what’s going on with the self talk in the head?
Anthony Cheam 26:26
Yes, very good. So
Al McBride 26:27
if you’re stuck, it means that you’re not seeing options, you’re not seeing some of the choices available to you. So you immediately move that perspective to try and see Well, what’s what’s the assumed state? So again, it’s going into the story, as we’ve talked about before, you know, state is their state, in an optimistic way.
Al McBride 26:47
And you can change that way asking those little questions where it’s like, what have you not considered? What have you tried, but need to try? Again, all those questions? You know, what, what have you learned from this? Or you got stuck and say, okay, so all of these ways to try and get them to start seeing their own options, and then lifting that they lift their state?
Al McBride 27:07
And then you can start working, as you say, with the story again, excellent. How do you see it as something that you gain? What What else can you do? What else what else, what else, and it through that and then they start getting momentum. The other thing I’d say just it’s a broader one, but it’s related directly to this is before I you know, people are starting something before I let them kind of out of the room.
Al McBride 27:32
The coaching conversation, I usually get them to start analyzing or start picking out from their past experience, or just from their own general knowledge, or business or whatever it is a challenge that they’re up against, to identify their excuses to identify their obstacles, fairly extra ones are easy.
Al McBride 27:52
The external ones are all you know, the weather might be or the car might be broken, or might be able to get to the gym because they say, okay, that’s easy. That’s great. You need to write them down and the workarounds, what else can you do? How else can you do it? Okay, great. But it’s the internal ones. It’s that internal motivation. We’re also our greatest foe as well, you know. So,
Anthony Cheam 28:14
Al McBride 28:14
it’s huge to actually work out those excuses. Because we plan as Elan musk or as Dr. Spock. Yeah, on the planet, someone really reliable is going to get the stuff done. You know? Yes. The person doing it is Homer Simpson half the time, you know?
Al McBride 28:34
That’s the true Word. Yes, yes. Sit back after a hard day and have a beer or, you know, yeah, whatever it is, and then scanning that, you know, come on. Now, Homer, you can have the beer later, or you can have
Anthony Cheam 28:46
Yeah, exactly. And that’s a great and that’s a great way to look at it. Because oftentimes I’ll do with clients will say what are the potential obstacles that have stopped you and opponents have stopped you in the past that have stifled your your progress.
Anthony Cheam 29:00
And then once they write it down and say, Well, this emotional state, what’s the emotion that goes along with that guilt or shame or fear or word, self pity. And then what we do then is we collapse that sort of emotional state by creating a more powerful state that so that they can anchor those powerful states and then it collapses that self pity doesn’t mean they don’t feel it.
Anthony Cheam 29:18
It just means that they know they have a powerful state or a powerful archetypal energy available to them to collapse the self pity and actually move forward. And as you said, there’s both internal opponents and obstacles and external opponents and obstacles. And it’s good to kind of examine what’s worked in the past, and what has kind of not worked in the past.
Anthony Cheam 29:33
So we can actually create that strategic approach and go, alright, here’s where I am, I’m stuck here. Here’s my pattern that I used to run, here’s what I’m gonna do, here’s my strategy and then deploy it without even hesitation. And that’s a great strategy. So any last words that are out to our audiences here?
Al McBride 29:48
I mean, the bottom line is tech she, you know, you you want to act as basic as your own best mate as your own best hardware. What I mean by that is that well, if you know some of my friends You know, they will give me a hard time you know, off the hook but at the same stage you know that also go you know, give yourself a break for God’s sake and then they’ll weigh it up and more balanced and maybe I’d given most people their hardest harshest critic are themselves.
Al McBride 30:16
Yeah. And take that and flip it objectively if this was your one of your closest friends love Have you been saying that? Or would you actually go Hey, man, that’s that’s not right. You know, seeing it in a more objective perspective that you want to push, push, push them when they need to push but also say, you know, you know, hot on the back when you’re doing things? Well,
Anthony Cheam 30:36
yes, amen. I love that straight you actually you taught that to me the difference between self esteem and self compassion, self compassion is a greater asset, just have your self compassion is like your best friend who’s who’s there, when things are down things, they’re cheering you on, things are up self esteem is when things are going great.
Anthony Cheam 30:51
They’re cheering you on, things aren’t so great. It’s kind of frustrating, right? So you have that develop that self compassion for yourself, develop that self awareness. And I promise you as outside, you got it. This is one podcast, I promise if you listen to it over and over again, I suggest it listen to it like 20 times, like while you’re working out. And so you could you could pull from this podcast, probably about 100 nuggets.
Anthony Cheam 31:11
Maybe just pull one or two, write it down, study it, highlight it, wake up every morning and read it and then and then deploy it on a daily basis, I promise you’re going to start creating that massive momentum that you so desire and you so deserve that’s available in your life.
Anthony Cheam 31:24
So thank you for joining us out it is an absolute pleasure and a privilege to have you on the show and to our audiences we’re gonna actually have out on a consistent basis providing some of his his wisdom his insights in business in his own success, his own personal life in psychology and everything that he has, has had you know, access to and studying his own world and his own life to share with you alongside me and alongside cameras in the background right now doing all this technical logical stuff.
Anthony Cheam 31:51
So we are a team here to support your growth support your expansion. So thanks out for joining us say by your artists is awesome and you know what, to the audiences out there if you want to listen to this podcast more we’re on iTunes, SoundCloud, Facebook, Instagram, you can download our pockets you can even look at us up on YouTube. And for for more information on our I’ll give you some information. ww Al McBride that’s a L mc brid.com slash mini course. In fact, he’s
Al McBride 32:21
basically providing something I think it’s a mini course a cheat sheet and, and if you want to, if you want email mini course, just if you want the psychological edge in negotiation, and persuasion, that kind of stuff, it could be very insightful for you,
Anthony Cheam 32:36
oh, extremely valuable like his. Over the years, he’s provided so much insight in helping some of my clients anytime I would get stuck, I would reach out to him with either personally stuck or with a client and bring some of the challenges I’m having with a particular client.
Anthony Cheam 32:49
He brings some extra insights into my world and just helped me sort of break through that limitation. So thank you out to your team continued upgrade and evolution. My pleasure out to your continued upgrade and evolution. Live it up with power, purpose and passion. God bless you guys.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Ready for more:
If you’re interested in more, visit almcbride.com/minicourse for a free email minicourse on how to gain the psychological edge in your negotiations and critical conversations along with a helpful negotiation prep cheat sheet.