Master Self-Leadership & Conquer the Five Universal Fears with Elizabeth Smith #090

Show Notes:

Struggling with internal doubts and external judgments while striving for success? Discover the hidden barriers holding you back in this insightful episode. Learn how to break free from the five universal fears that plague leaders and entrepreneurs, and unlock your true potential.

Join us on the Dealing with Goliath podcast, where host Al McBride interviews Elizabeth Smith, a self-leadership coach with a background in mental health and nursing. Elizabeth shares her unique insights into the psychological challenges faced by high-achieving business leaders, offering practical advice on managing emotions, setting priorities, and investing in personal growth.

Understand the critical mindset shifts needed for sustained success and how to navigate the complex emotions of leadership. Tansform your approach to business and personal development!

GUEST BIO:

Liz Smith describes herself as a Self-Leadership Coach with a passion for cracking cognitive codes to extraordinary leadership. With a number of professional years spent in the field of Mental Health Nursing and management she has honed her skills in communication, human behaviour and leadership.

Having had a successful career in the NHS and developing The GURU CODE methodology, Liz brings a unique perspective to the table, blending therapy and coaching together, with an understanding of the pressures of Leadership.

Topics explored:

  • Understanding the characteristics of ideal clients and the common challenges they face, such as feeling frustrated despite success and the internal struggle of wanting more.
  • Fear and Self-Doubt in Leadership: The five universal fears (extinction, ego death, manipulation, loss of autonomy, and separation) that often hold leaders back and how these fears manifest in professional settings.
  • The guilt entrepreneurs feel when deviating from traditional career paths, the external judgments they face and it’s impact
  • Mindset and Emotional Management: The importance of starting the day with a clear mindset, setting achievable goals, and managing emotions to enhance business performance and maintain a positive outlook.
  • Effective Time Management: Strategies like the “winners list” to prioritize and focus on five key tasks each day to ensure continuous business growth without overwhelming oneself.
  • The critical need and long-term benefits of investing in oneself
  • Techniques for building rapport and trust in negotiations
  • Strategies for dealing with rejection and objections in sales and negotiations

Transcript

Al McBride 0:03
Welcome to the dealing with Goliath podcast. The mission of dealing with Goliath is to sharpen the psychological edge in negotiation, ethical influencing and high impact conversations for business leaders who want to be more effective under pressure, uncover hidden value, and build greater connection all while increasing profitability. This is the short form espresso shot of insight podcast interview to boost business performance, using our five questions in around about 15 to 20 minutes. My guest today is Elizabeth Smith. Liz describes herself as a self leadership coach with a passion for cracking cognitive codes to extraordinary leadership, with a number of professional years spent in the field of mental health, nursing and management. She has honed her skills in communication, human behavior, and leadership. Having had a successful career in the NHS, and developing the guru code methodology. This brings a unique perspective to the table, blending therapy and coaching together with an understanding of the pressures of leadership. Liz, welcome to the show.

Elizabeth Smith 1:06
Thank you so much. Thank you for having me.

Al McBride 1:08
Great to have you on. And we had a very interesting conversation for so I’m really excited to dive into into this topic with you. So let’s just start off for audits, Who’s your ideal client? And what’s the biggest challenge they tend to face?

Elizabeth Smith 1:26
My ideal client is the one who wants more out of life who is frustrated. They can be terribly successful, but they’re still gods, they just know there’s more to come. So they’re normally business owners. They’re normally those entrepreneurs, they are the leaders. They’re the people who stick their head above the parapet they’re willing to do it. However nervous it might make them feel so they are. Yeah, they’re my people.

Al McBride 1:58
Very good. So it sounds like this definitely. Even though they might be frustrated, there’s a sense of bravery. There’s a sense of wanting to do something.

Elizabeth Smith 2:06
It’s there, it’s just festering away. And yeah.

Al McBride 2:12
What are some of the key those sort of key challenges they, they might recognize the symptoms of if they’re listening to this?

Elizabeth Smith 2:20
Well, they’re the ones where you know, you want to do it, but you just go round and round and round in a circle, arguing with yourself that inner narrative where, well if I did if I could, and then they throw lots of lots of things in the way and they get distracted. And I’m a great one for distraction, but they get distracted by something that’s not important, rather than just getting on with it and seeing what the results are. It’s that sort of almost a need for certainty. But then they get bored with planning the circuit certainty and it goes out the window. You know, it’s those sorts of things that I find that a lot of people talk about, they’re the ones that what if what if that happens? What if I look stupid? What if I fail? What if everyone’s telling me this is not a good idea, but I just feel I should be doing it. But they’re, they’re really pulled, really pulled. And there’s a sense of guilt on a lot of fun with lots of my clients. So interesting.

Al McBride 3:21
Just just couldn’t we go deep into the killer? That’s an interesting term. So what are they feeling guilty about? Exactly.

Elizabeth Smith 3:29
Because it’s their wants, it’s their wishes, it’s been, you know, and everybody else on the outside is almost looking in going you selfish, you know, that sort of thing. You know, there’s everybody else sort of, you know, going to work. I mean, it’s great, isn’t it, you know, you’ve not had it not so long ago with a with a client who said, you know, you can almost fit palpable when the partner walks out of the door to go to their nine to five. And they’re deciding what they’re going to do for the day. And it’s, and funnily enough, I saw a clip on one of these reels and tic TOCs. And it’s become quite, quite popular. I don’t know if you’ve seen it, where somebody obviously, who has made a different decision to follow something else take the risk, and that’s the thing, you know, people see you taking the risk of not having that consistent wage packet, waving goodbye to the partner and the partner is just hollering abuse back. But, you know, and it is that and they do it feel guilty, because if something doesn’t come off, you know, they’ve promised they’ve been promised great things. They’ve talked it up. They’ve shared it openly, and then it doesn’t come through and you think, yeah, we can’t quite afford to do this this month or that’s on hold. Yeah. And there’s there is there’s a sense of guilt. There’s a sense of guilt for walking away from security. And

Al McBride 4:57
there’s that that they feel they should be grateful. or other people do really like you should be grateful for your situation. Why did you Why are you doing that? Yeah, yeah, you

Elizabeth Smith 5:04
had a great job, you had a great job? How could you why? Why could you not just, you know, just keep going everybody else does. You know? It’s when they pat themselves. It’s like anything, isn’t it when you’re, we’re great pack animals at the core of it, and how dare you peel yourself off and do something different?

Al McBride 5:29
It’s I think, I think they need more business owner friends. Little network that actually get them on that level? Absolutely.

Elizabeth Smith 5:38
But this is this is sort of the time when it’s because if you’ve got somebody else who’s not in that world, you have two very distinct communities. And they do overlap. And when you when you have to toe the line and go with your partner to something else, when you don’t feel you fit, you do change, I think you do change. And that’s very evident when I’m talking to my clients with this

Al McBride 6:10
issue of feeling stuck or feeling overwhelmed, feeling confused. And they know they want to build something, they don’t want to take that next extra step. So what are the common mistakes people make when they’re trying to solve that that don’t usually work? sort of adds to the frustration?

Elizabeth Smith 6:28
It? Well, I mean, I know we talked before, didn’t we about the five universal fears?

Al McBride 6:33
Yeah, we’ll let’s illustrate those for the listeners. Yeah. Okay.

Elizabeth Smith 6:37
So the five universal fears are something that comes up all the time, and you can you can they fit in different ways, you know, but they all sort of very much interlock. But when you have when, when people are starting out, it’s that desperate need not to fail, is the desperate need to feel that you are you know, what you’re doing, you’re the expert, and you see it on all the trainings, you have become the expert, no become become the experimenter become the scientist, you know, you don’t need that certainty. You don’t need that clarity go in with your, with your hypothesis, because you can’t get it wrong when it’s a hypothesis because you’re searching for the answer. And it’s those sorts of conversations, but it is that fear of I mean, the fifth, the fifth one that I always use is ego death. You know, it’s like that humiliation that that horrific sense of loss of respect, everyone’s sort of, we knew that wouldn’t work sort of thing. You know, it’s the emperor’s new clothes. And there’s a real fear there for people. And that stops them pushing forward. It

Al McBride 7:55
does. I also know from another flow research that can be one of those great slow triggers to get you super motivated. If you’re able to flip it into into an energy booster. I’ll prove them wrong. Wow.

Elizabeth Smith 8:07
Haven’t we all use that? Certainly have, you know, someone says no, to me, I’ll go pale. That’s red rag to a bull. But that’s what I love about entrepreneurs and business owner, as you say, we only do things in life for two reasons. We’re either moving towards something or I’m moving away from something and the fears can can literally be that push and pull.

Al McBride 8:32
It was two of those fears. What are the others?

Elizabeth Smith 8:35
So you’ve got extinction. So rather than rather than saying about it being a death, it’s it’s in its truest sense. Its annihilation, isn’t it? It’s that feeling of loss of everything. You go bust? I don’t know you have. There’s a fear of finality. Now I has had one of my clients who was incredibly successful, big fear was losing it all because he didn’t have the energy to restart What if, and then holding on for dear life white knuckling it? Well, there’s no transformation that happens. There’s no creativity when it’s like that. So I know a lot of people think coaching is all about coming only when you’re you know, on your knees but it’s not it’s often to keep you going at that peak that peak performance, isn’t it? And then you’ve got manipulation, there is a such a fear of being fooled. You know, someone you’re not the expert, all of a sudden somebody comes in and you know, they take advantage of you. There’s a real vulnerability that some people feel and if you think about it, you are the last voice in your business on claiming the boss Yeah, can’t blame the boss, can you hold it all? So that feel that feeling of you Actually somebody might come and take advantage of you, you might look weak, you know, you don’t like confrontation, the last thing you want is confrontation. So that’s, that’s another one of them. And then you’ve got that loss of autonomy. So you go diving in, and you suddenly realize that actually, it’s chaos. It’s absolute chaos. You know, you can’t you can’t move because you’ve tied yourself into this, or you’ve tied yourself into that. There’s a feeling of being invisible, you know, being smothered, overwhelmed with the amount of work, it’s all as soon as that lack of control is massive, then there’s the separation. We know business is very much I don’t I hate calling it lonely. Because there’s a difference between being alone and lonely nurse definitely have to be alone. We have to make those decisions. Like you say, you can’t ask the boss, you can’t rely on him. It is you you are the last voice that you’ll hear in your business. But that loneliness as in the isolation when it comes to a difficult decision. All of a sudden union replies, actually, you are teetering at the top, aren’t you? There’s nothing to hold you.

Al McBride 11:19
Absolutely. ever again. That’s why a great, that’s why mentors and coaches are a very valuable asset to because it is an expert, but a third party, you know, they want to do well. Absolutely shown in the mirror, as you say. Absolutely. Yeah. I think there’s a great opportunity there for empathy, though, as well, when you talked about being fooled, because it’s one of the things I’ve worked with clients where I didn’t quite use those language, but it’s the similar principle. Where if they can flip that into the customer, the clients or the prospects mindset, because often it’s not the price that they’re worried about, yes, that can be a factor. But it’s like, they don’t want to lose the time. And the thought that they made a silly decision by going potentially with you or a risky option or something like that. Oh, yeah.

Elizabeth Smith 12:09
Oh, yeah. But you see, this is the difficulty I think a lot of people have, it’s valuing themselves. People will go on a holiday and spend, I don’t know, two and a half 1000 pounds to go to Portugal or Europe, or I’m using Europe, because they spent two and a half 1000 on that. And it’s over in 10 days. They’ve also lost two days, one day the side because of traveling. So as much as your soul 10 days. But to invest in themselves, that sort of money would be too much be too expensive.

Al McBride 12:56
It’s amazing people’s internal economics, about what

Elizabeth Smith 12:59
they put value in and yet you think you are so vital. And it’s not just about business, you are vital to your family, you are vital to the economy, you’re a vital to the world, you know, we all bring something and add something, and yet we don’t value it.

Al McBride 13:17
So amazing perspective shift, because, as you said, one, yes, holidays are great, we all need a holiday breaks are very important. Take your mind elsewhere, you know, and, and the memories building up to it are great, you have a great time and even memories afterwards. So it is worthwhile. But it’s not an investment

Elizabeth Smith 13:39
actually changes firstly, very little change something in the very short term. And the one big thing that attracts me about what you and I do is it is an investment that continues to give back.

Al McBride 13:56
A force multiplier. Yeah. Over and over

Elizabeth Smith 13:58
again. I mean, talk about snowball effect, you know, and that that to me means that my father used to say to me, he said, You know, when I used to talk about something being expensive, he’d say how long you gonna have it for less? And I tell him and he goes right and come back to me. He said, Do you realize that five pence a day or something like that? And I go, Oh, would you pay five pence a day for that? I saw they’re like, Yeah, I would, I would done deal. Done deal. reach you at that. We all have a different language, don’t we? For the same? Yes. And that to me, gets me every time and I said to my grandchildren, I say it to my children. I say it’s my I say to my clients, you know, okay, so this training or whatever you’re investing in for your business? Is this. What’s it going to give you what is Your return on investment? How much will that? You know, once we unpack it? It’s like, ah, actually, yeah, yeah, we can do this, you know, it’s a stretch, but we can do it. What

Al McBride 15:12
do you think of most successful companies? What do they do? They spend fortunes, billions even on research and development and learning and development for the people. It’s the same equipment, learning and development, research and development. It’s reinvesting in those things to grow your business. Absolutely, absolutely. So

Elizabeth Smith 15:29
my biggest arguments when I was in the NHS, before I left, we were talking about recruitment and retention. And it was in the boardroom, and we were talking about wages. And I’m going to have to say something, I put my hand up, because they don’t come to the teams, the staff to find out what they want. And I put my hand up, and I said, you know, it’s not actually a wage increase, that that would make the most for that law mean, the most of the staff, they want to go off and do training, they want to develop, they want to learn, they want to be doing something so incredible, you know, and I said, if you did, you know, and brought in, and I had all my learning development plan laid out. And I sort of cost you half, bring back so much more. And it worked out that way. I mean, after I left, I think they all got a wage rise. And I saw an awful lot of an awful lot of comments about how much they lost in tax. The wage rise was this, the morale just went off? And I thought, well, you know, over and over again, we forget about developing ourselves.

Al McBride 16:47
Absolutely, absolutely. So what would be one valuable free action that the audience can implement that will help them? First of all, as what we just talked about, you know, investing in yourself investing in your business.

Elizabeth Smith 17:07
But for free, it is starting with the end in mind. So taking out I am I have embedded in my practice, and it’s open to anybody, I offer it to him. I have a co hour every day. And I will start with a beautiful cup of coffee, always my diary. And I think about what I need for that day, what’s my day look like? Where am I emotionally? Because again, we were talking Weren’t we before, about removing emotion from business, you know, your inner dialogue will absolutely 100% impact your day. Those those thoughts that are really creating those feelings will either boost your actions, or deplete them. So actually investing your time just one hour a day, in the mornings, before you even step outside. What is my mindset? What am I trying to achieve today? What does success look like, for today, you know, really readdress where you’re coming from because that way, you’ve got so much more space for your clients, your customers, your teams, you are open to speaking to them, because you’re already looked at yourself.

Al McBride 18:25
It’s such a great point. And I think also often for people who are maybe new to stepping into working for themselves, or at least being their own boss being self employed being an entrepreneur is that they’re usually go go go I’ve so many tasks on a task list. And they often fail to step back and off. It’s one of the great things from a lot of research and leadership, I think was the lack of reflection time. And because think about it, because people go oh, I don’t have time for that. That’s a luxury on board, I think yeah, I do that once a month. Hanging it like no, at least once a week, if not once a day, as you say ideally, because when you step back, you can see the mistakes you’re making, or the work that’s wasted or the faster way to to better more effectively to do something or what’s what can be done later.

Elizabeth Smith 19:14
Oh, much better. Much. Yeah, I mean, literally, I mean, I don’t really like time management, because you can’t manage time, you can only manage yourself. To me, it’s just, you know, that small amount. And it doesn’t even have to be all thinking and I think this worries people that think about you know, they’re one of the things that I talk I mean, this is another giveaway really is the winners list. Because I get my clients, whether they’re if they’re morning people, that’s great. They’re evening people. There’s also great because it works both ways. But the winners list is you choose five things and only five and you put them on a list. They got to be things that move the business forward. And you either write that out, which means you then know exactly when you wake up in the morning, because you’re not a morning person. That’s all I have to think about at the moment. They’re my top five things. And then if it’s the morning because you dead be in the evening, in the morning, when you’re fresh, you’re bright, you know, you’ve got your CEO, you then look at your five things, what five things can really move my business for today? And you have nothing else to it. Nothing else until you’ve done them, you find that you do so many more. But five things is not overwhelming. Now,

Al McBride 20:33
I think that’s a great point. And they’re not overwhelming, because you’re taking the pressure off yourself for that day. So having 30 tasks you need to do. Just five. Yeah, so you’re able to go right, this is where my focus

Elizabeth Smith 20:46
is on. So the next day go, No, we’ve got to do fresh, punchy, you know, something that’s going to be gosh, yes. If I can just, I’ll just done both books like i How good do I feel now? I mean, that’s clearing the decks big style. Absolutely.

Al McBride 21:02
Absolutely. So what would be one valuable free resource that you could direct people to that would help them?

Elizabeth Smith 21:11
I think I’m just trying to think I mean, there’s there are there are several that are on. On my website. I think breakthrough to brilliance is often a good one to go to because it is all about mindset. And it’s a little free PDF download that I wrote some time ago, popping these probably needs updating, but they’re there’s brutal honesty.

Al McBride 21:36
Sure, it’s fun.

Elizabeth Smith 21:39
But yeah, breakthrough to brilliance, because it’s all about and I do truly believe we all have a real spark of genius in all of us. You know? Yes, sir. Tomorrow my that’s

Al McBride 21:52
a fabulous point. And it’s something I always say used to be my tagline, you know, helping you get ahead. Because a lot of people think, yeah, you know, what, I’m really in the zone, you know, I’m really just, I’m in the moment, I’m able to just do all the stuff and everybody has those couple of hours a couple of days where they get more than they did done in the last week or two. So it is that it’s getting out of your own way. I have to say though, your website’s Farb we have so many valuable resources there that are complimentary. So the link will be obviously below the video. It is the guru code. Dakota UK slash resources, please do check it out. Because some, some excellent resources there for people to check out. Excellent. So if so, focusing down a little bit more now to negotiation. So what would be your number one insight or maybe principle that you often offer your clients on how to negotiate? When I say that, I mean, they had to build either rapport connection, or uncover hidden value or just interact better with a prospect or a negotiation partner.

Elizabeth Smith 22:59
I don’t think it’s as simple as one I think you’ve got almost where I, I’ve just said, you know, about taking in where you’re at. Because once you know what emotions and where, where you’re what the goal is, it allows you to step back and truly listen to the person where they’re coming from. And for me, it’s all about language. Because if you start to mirror their language match their language, connection and rapport, because it’s always about rapport, isn’t it? We don’t want to go into negotiation always sounds like it’s a game of tennis. Actually, what I’d like what I always like to do you just open with a field, you know, just go Oh, hello, what do you want? What would make things better for you? Where would you like, you know, what is it? What did you What can I do to help you? It reverses the reverse? Is it there’s a counterbalance there isn’t there almost I mean, it always says, It doesn’t matter how thin you slice something, there’s always two sides to it. You know, so yes, you’ve got a you’ve got something you need to do, they’ve got something they need to do. But actually by by allowing you your needs just to take a step back, because you’ve already you know, you already got those sorted, it opens the floodgates for you to listen to them really well. And one really nice technique if you’re certainly if you’re in front of each other, to make that deepest sense of rapport with somebody as you look at the color of their eyes. And it’s long enough just to note, brown, blue, new search yourself, but it’s long enough apparently, to have a deeper connection without scaring the pants off them. But it’s an I always think that there’s something really nice about the eyes. The eyes will always tell you where that person’s coming from. You can tell if someone’s zoned out from you can’t you are Whether they’re literally listening to you, and you do that, and for some reason the person is just automatically in sync with you. You used to do a lot when I was assessing and and certainly when I was in the forensics, watching eyes and the body movements

Al McBride 25:25
open door that opens a whole other potential narrative. Explore that that’s a very good point. Yeah, building that report. Absolutely. And it is absolutely key because as you said, there’s one, there’s very much the idea of trying to remove emotions. But I think, you know, not to be sound too arrogant, I think an awful lot of times, what they’re trying to say is, don’t be out of control with your emotions, don’t go in angry, frustrated, whatever, all of these things that people tend to bring that emotional baggage to the table, or I must, you know, if there’s pressure on them from outside, is

Elizabeth Smith 26:06
the internal dialogue. We are you know that I mean, there’s that great saying, isn’t it the true true meaning of all communication? Is the response you get, you know, you walk into a room with a clenched fist, you’re not shaking hands, or, you know, you can cut the atmosphere when someone comes into the room, and they’re just had a huge Barney or someone’s been, someone’s made a complaint, and they’ve been dealing with complaint and then they come in to see you in the go, right. Your Whoa, hang on hippo. What energy Have you bought into this room and you, when we are emotional beings, we pick up on all these things, it’s, we’re pre wired, aren’t we, the amygdala is pre wired. So you’re going to come in, and your jaw is tense, and your face is tense, and we are going to have our barriers up. So that’s where I talk about removing emotion from business, it’s about that self leadership, being aware of yourself, can’t afford to be triggered by the other person. And

Al McBride 27:13
if you’re dealing with a lot of big corporates, big corporate buyers, they are experts, and they’re literally trained on how to hit your triggers, and wear you down. And that’s exactly their whole game plan. So I mean, if you’re dealing, you know, small or medium business to small or medium business, it’s a different atmosphere, or usually a very different atmosphere. But if you’re trying to sell into some of the very large corporates, that’s exactly their strategy. Well,

Elizabeth Smith 27:41
I mean, I certainly I mean, a lot of what I learned was sort of going into coroner’s courts and things like that, and having to be witness being on the witness stand being grilled by different things, and you couldn’t stand there and be uttering in your, you absolute, you know, so and so you’re not getting me and all the rest of it, because, you know, it’s like, actually, I’m here for this, this, you know, I have nothing to hide, and I’m just and it just calms everything down. And then you can literally reach the other person and have that conversation without it showing in your, in your voice. You know, and I think that we’re as it as a small and medium business people. It’s the complaints, it’s people, you know, trying to remove that emotion. It’s not about you, you know, as much as you love your business, you love your product, people aren’t rejecting you. They just don’t need your product or your product doesn’t quite meet what they what they want it to do. You know, it’s it’s and this is this is this thing of you know, we where the ego death comes in or the extinction just because one said no does not mean you throw everything out and go right that’s it, you’re gonna give up absolutely. You know, these the, you know, what you’ve developed is necessary, it’s needed, we just need to find where it fits. Very

Al McBride 29:09
good point. I was known as a disagreement, it’s not you and it isn’t them. But it is how they’re being and this goes back to the emotional states. Because this is something I hear a lot particularly for sort of sales people with those sort of sales in multiple stage conversations. And they said it started so well and then when we’re going to close suddenly there’s all these objections. I was like who are you being on the first one the first few there were I’m here to serve you and they were genuine authentically. They could feel that we pick it up but then my the last one of suddenly like dollar signs and I get to have a new kitchen and suddenly that clip oh don’t fail me now, you know.

Elizabeth Smith 29:56
Just not looking at the consumer You know, when you’re looking at them, actually the same fear is there? Am I being manipulated?

Al McBride 30:06
What we started with earlier? As I said, it’s, they’re feeling like, I’m gonna be even fooled here. Have I just had the wool pulled over my eyes and you weren’t authentic? Because now I’m picking up that you’re just seeing dollar signs when you look at Yeah, you know

Elizabeth Smith 30:18
how much you’re getting out of this system.

Al McBride 30:22
But that’s the thing, then all of those questions start appearing, the fear hits the amygdala, as you pointed out earlier, and then they’re thinking, Okay, what about what about what about so it triggers their fear questions?

Elizabeth Smith 30:35
Totally. Well, I mean, you’ve only got to think people don’t like being sold to I know, we’ve all got. And I think, you know, when you go in, when you think about the customer already has, has thought about what they’re going to do that day. You know, they’re expecting this person they’ve already built up, they’re already triggered with all their fears. So they’re already coming in, not with an open hand. They’re already coming in with a clenched fist, aren’t they? You know, so it’s that it’s, and that’s, that’s why I’m saying, you know, you can’t you can’t go in with your own emotions. You go in too enthusiastic. The other person’s like, oh, hang on, you’re too friendly. And I’ve had that so many times, you know, do I know? You’re

Al McBride 31:24
familiar? And you’re thinking?

Elizabeth Smith 31:26
Yeah, but people do that. So many.

Al McBride 31:29
But again, it’s because I suspect it’s because there’s something forest or I don’t know, just something not natural there. Because other times you’ve talked to people, and it doesn’t feel like a sales conversation. You feel like you’re having a conversation. But

Elizabeth Smith 31:43
I do think there’s a lack of self awareness. Absolutely. I mean, I did have a bit of a story, really, I was buying new carpet, new furniture. Last year, a walk into a very reputable carpet company that I have used before. I like them family run. Nice gentleman, older than myself. Were walking through the showroom. I told him what I wanted. I even took an old piece of carpet with me because I’m, I know what I want. And my husband was sort of lagging behind totally disinterested, but that’s because I’m, you know, anyway. And there’s the salesperson said to me, and he said, he looked at my husband and he said, Oh, he’s I take it, you’re just here to pay for it. We’ve got our uses, haven’t we? Wow. I’m off. Goodbye. See you later. I went. And this is last year. So that lack halls. Just so we know, you’ve got to take into account where you’re coming from, but I had exactly the same with the furniture company. And it was a young chap. Amazing. And I thought, Dear God, you know, he’s just not interested. That’s all he did. Oh, that was it. But yeah, the same, same, or similar. Similar sort of sales at trying to be friendly, trying to get that light hearted banter in there.

Al McBride 33:22
When it’s reading the reading the room so wrong.

Elizabeth Smith 33:25
Yeah. But you see, you get to read the room better. If you had done that exact awareness, you know, know where you’re coming from know what you look at your customers, not you. It’s not about you look at your customer.

Al McBride 33:40
Absolutely. Some great insights there. Thank you so much, Liz. And thank you for being on the show. So where can people reach you if they want to learn more about you, and

Elizabeth Smith 33:50
I’m on LinkedIn. So please contact me on LinkedIn. I am Elizabeth Smith on LinkedIn. And then obviously, there’s my website, which is WWE, you’re going to put the link on there aren’t you do Guru code.co.uk. And my email is Liz at the Guru code.co.uk. And

Al McBride 34:11
please do check out the guru code at Dakota UK because there’s an awful lot of resources there both PDF downloads, and you have a podcast as well as some, some fabulous insights there too. So there’s an awful lot for people. So thank you so much for being on the show as it’s been great.

Elizabeth Smith 34:26
I really enjoyed it. Thank you.

Al McBride 34:28
Thank you

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Resources

Elizabeth Smith’s Website: https://thegurucode.co.uk/

The Guru Code Methodology: https://thegurucode.co.uk/the-guru-code-methodology/

Liz Smith’s Collection of Resources: https://thegurucode.co.uk/resources/

Including free pdf downloads: Areas of insight guaranteed to accelerate your transformation

Your Breakthrough to Brilliance, KPI’s That Connect

Connect with Liz Smith

On LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabeth-smith-theguruco/

Ready for more:

If you’re interested in more, visit almcbride.com/minicourse for a free email minicourse on how to gain the psychological edge in your negotiations and critical conversations along with a helpful negotiation prep cheat sheet.

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